Speaker 1: Well, I’m going to DC with you. You know Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House, gave me a job as impeachment interpreter for as long as you’re on the team.

Speaker 2: Look,  if you’re the impeachment interpreter, you must know all the key facts.

Speaker 1: I certainly do.

Speaker 2: Well you know I’ve never met the people. So you’ll have to tell me their names, and then and what they’re saying so I know what’s happening

Speaker 1: Oh, I’ll tell you their names, ambassador this, diplomat that, Mr. LTC. Whozits. And what they’re saying so you understand what’s going on.

Speaker 2: You mean they speak funny?

Speaker 1: Strange things, latin things … like Quid Pro Quo…

Speaker 2: What about bribery?

Speaker 1: What about bribery…

Speaker 2: And the whistle blower?

Speaker 1: Eric Ciaramella?

Speaker 2: Knows Adam Schiff.

Speaker 1: Yes.  We know that Schiff knows the whistleblower Eric, but the media doesn’t seem to know that Schiff knows Eric.  When asked on camera, Schiff doesn’t know, they have lunch and Eric knows Schiff knows Eric even when he says he doesn’t.

Speaker 2: That’s what I want to find out.

Speaker 1: Who did what?

Speaker 2: Yes.  Are you the special prosecutor?

Speaker 1: No, that’s Barr and Durham.  I’m just and interpreter.

Speaker 2: You gonna be the voting on impeachment too?

Speaker 1: No.  No impeachment votes.

Speaker 2: And it’s about quid pro quo, or bribery?

Speaker 1: Well there should be a vote.

Speaker 2: Well then when’s the vote?

Speaker 1: They’re not having one.

Speaker 2: Why not?

Speaker 1: Because they need to figure out the facts.

Speaker 2: Like what.

Speaker 1: Like quid pro quo.

Speaker 2: Like getting a prosecutor fired?

Speaker 1: No.

Speaker 2: Then what?

Speaker 1: Like meetings and international aid.

Speaker 2: I’m asking you about that.

Speaker 1: Like meetings?

Speaker 2: Yes meetings.

Speaker 1: Well Trump met with the Ukrainian President?

Speaker 2: Zelensky, as a quid pro quo?

Speaker 1:Yes.

Speaker 2: How?

Speaker 1: .A Mr. Lieutenant Colonel heard a diplomat talking about an ambassador talking to someone in the president’s office about holding aid for something.

Speaker 2: A Lieutenant Colonel?

Speaker 1: Yes.  Army.

Speaker 2: A commander?

Speaker 1: No, beurocrat.

Speaker 2: When you pay the foreign aid, who gets the money?

Speaker 1: The Ukraine.

Speaker 2: And that’s bribery?

Speaker 1: No.  Diplomacy.

Speaker 2: Quid pro quo?

Speaker 1: Diplomacy.

Speaker 2: But if it’s Trump authorizing it?

Speaker 1: He does, every dollar.

Speaker 2: Quid pro quo?

Speaker 1: Yes.

PAUSE
Speaker 1: What’s wrong with that?

Speaker 2: Look, all I wanna know is when the house votes for impeachment, what are they voting for?

Speaker 1: Quid pro quo.

Speaker 2: In Ukraine.

Speaker 1: Yes.

Speaker 2: How is it quid pro quo?

Speaker 1: That’s how Mr. Lieutenant Colonel heard it.

Speaker 2: Bribery?

Speaker 1: Yes.

PAUSE
Speaker 2: All I’m trying to find out is how is it quid pro quo.

Speaker 1: The President.

Speaker 2: Trump.

Speaker 1: Quid pro quo.

Speaker 2: To vote on?

Speaker 1: Well, we won’t vote on impeachment.

Speaker 2: Why not?

Speaker 1: Because it’s quid pro quo.

Speaker 2: And Hunter?

Speaker 1: No.

Speaker 2: Ok.

Speaker 1: All right.  Just Trump.

PAUSE
Speaker 2: So Joe and Hunter isn’t quid pro quo?

Speaker 1: Yes.  Only Trump

Speaker 2: So something for something.

Speaker 1: Yes.

Speaker 2: So what for what?.

Speaker 1: A meeting for aid.

Speaker 2: With Trump?

Speaker 1: Yes, and Zelensky?

Speaker 2: Did the aid happen?

Speaker 1: Yes.

Speaker 2: When?

Speaker 1: September.

Speaker 2: And the meeting?

Speaker 1: No.

Speaker 2: There I go, no quid pro quo?

PAUSE
Speaker 2: What about a quid pro quo for Joe?

Speaker 1: All right, what do you want to know?

Speaker 2: A billion dollars for a prosecutor fired?

Speaker 1: Why do you insist on asking about Joe?

Speaker 2: I want to understand if there is a quid pro quo for Joe.

Speaker 1: No.  No quid pro quo for Joe?

Speaker 2: Then what about the meeting?

Speaker 1: Which meeting?

Speaker 2: I don’t know.

Speaker 1 & Speaker 2 Together: The meeting that never happened!
PAUSE
Speaker 2: Look, did the meeting happen between Trump and Zelensky?

Speaker 1: No.

Speaker 2: So no quid pro quo?

Speaker 1:No, For Trump?

Speaker 2: I just thought I’d ask you.

Speaker 1: Well, I just thought I’d tell ya.

Speaker 2: Then tell me when the meeting happened.

Speaker 1: The meeting never happened.

Speaker 2: So no quid pro quo?

Speaker 1: No, For Trump that’s quid pro quo

Speaker 2: Quid pro No?

Speaker 1: No, Quid pro quo.

Speaker 2: For Joe?

Speaker 1 & Speaker 2 Together: No! Trump.
PAUSE
Speaker 2: So the Abassador?

Speaker 1: Yes, Sonderland.

Speaker 2: He cancelled the meeting?

Speaker 1: No.

PAUSE
Speaker 2: Look, Did they have the meeting for aid?

Speaker 1: No.

Speaker 2: Sonderland said that?

Speaker 1: No.

Speaker 2: He said they had a quid pro quo?

Speaker 1: No.

Speaker 2: So Sonderland said “No Quid Pro Quo?”.

Speaker 1:Yes

Speaker 2: So no quid pro quo?

Speaker 1: No, There was a quid pro quo?

Speaker 2: Quid pro quo for Hunter and Joe?

Speaker 1: Now, there is no quid pro quo for Hunter and Joe.

Speaker 2: I’ll break your arm, you say a quid pro quo for Trump! I want to know what the house will vote for impeachment on.

Speaker 1: No Vote.

Speaker 2: Then why are there hearings?

Speaker 1 & Speaker 2 Together: Trump’s quid pro quo!
PAUSE
Speaker 2: So Trump gave the aid for a meeting?

Speaker 1: Certainly.

Speaker 2: When was the meeting?

Speaker 1: Never.

Speaker 2: So the meeting never happened.

Speaker 1: Now you’ve got it.

Speaker 2: So the quid pro quo is aid for a meeting.

PAUSE
Speaker 2: For a meeting that never happened.

Speaker 1: So they tell me.

Speaker 2: For a vote that won’t happen.  For quid pro quo for aid.   Not for the aid that was withheld by Joe for the Prosecutore of Hunter?

Speaker 1: Now that’s the first thing you’ve said right.

Speaker 2: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

PAUSE
Speaker 1: That’s all you have to do.

Speaker 2: To say it’s quid pro quo.

Speaker 1: Yes!

Speaker 2: But not for Joe?

Speaker 1: Naturally.

PAUSE
Speaker 2: Look, if I were to vote on quid Pro quo, It is for foreign aid?

Speaker 1: Naturally.

Speaker 2: And a meeting?

Speaker 1: Naturally.

Speaker 2: Naturally?

Speaker 1: Naturally.

Speaker 2: So if I were to vote for impeachment I don’t vote for Joe?

Speaker 1: No you don’t, you vote for Trumps quid pro quo.

Speaker 2: Naturally.

Speaker 1: That’s right.

Speaker 2: That’s what I said.

Speaker 1: But we’re not voting on it…

Speaker 2: For Trump’s quid pro quo.

Speaker 1: Yes, for Trump’s quid pro quo.

Speaker 2: Naturally.

Speaker 1: That’s it.

Speaker 2: That’s what I said!

Speaker 1: You ask me.

Speaker 2: Don’t vote on Joe?

Speaker 1: Naturally.

Speaker 2: Now you ask me.

Speaker 1: Quid pro quo?

Speaker 2: Trump.

Speaker 1: That’s it.

Speaker 2: Same as you! Same as YOU! I vote on Trumps Quid Pro Quo, but not for Joe’s.  For foreign aid paid in exchange for a meeting that never happened.  The impeachment vote for bribery and quid pro quo that will never happen, and I don’t give a darn!

Speaker 1: What?

Speaker 2: I said I don’t give a darn!

Speaker 1: Oh, that’s the point.